Ode to the Race
poem
Fable created that which is most noble, Race which granted me a chiseled face; Please continue eating meat and cheese, White folk, dearest divine in the light. Capable and courageous in field and stable, Wake to discover the legacy we must take; Leave aside the dark invaders who reeve, White folk arise to lead us into the night.
Great poem. So many of our people have lost their chiseled faces under layers of fat. Nobler times are coming though. Those chiseled features will re emerge in the forge of heroic struggle.
How about making the last line of the first verse its first line? And the beginning of the third line "Please continue eating" doesn't fit the mood you created. How about something like "A warrior requires both..."?